Poetry -> Formed -> Extended
I/We/You/I
I

am late,
bedraggled, frankly disheveled

I

do not cry gracefully,
and

I

can feel the flaring beacon of my complexion,
with bonus tear-stains.

We

he and

I
walk forward to greet

You

are smiling like sunday morning bacon and eggs,
the damn calm which

I

have so admired,

You

are soothed,
but now not soothing


9/10/08 02:41am
Writer's Commentary
  • 3 comments
  • OMG'd 2 times
  • 2 active
  • Rated ++++-
I can't write poetry, but I'm applying for a writing programme where you're supposed to do things like that.

Hillarity ensues.
Comments
Fri, 5 Dec 2008 at 04:49am
WiseEyes:
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WhereToFor
Duuude. Love this one! The format is very striking, gives a very strong impression of spoken word without all the hissing and man tapping bongos. Seriously though, I really like this one.
My favourites are the "We/He and/I" part and the "You/are smiling like sunday morning bacon and eggs" Love that imagery. Makes me hungry too though... Anyways, really like this one. Very unique and poignant.
zero
 <3 and
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[REPLY]
Wed, 15 Apr 2009 at 04:09pm
kathymonster:
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IF1
I like this too. The format is really interesting and it definitely is a really great piece.
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 <3 and
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 <\3
[REPLY]
Mon, 11 May 2009 at 05:15pm
olddominationnewwar:
Meaningful:+++--
Intriguing:++++-
Structure:+++++
Rhythm:++++-
Amusing:+++++
Avatar
wallpaper
oh,
belisimo!
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 <3 and
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[REPLY]
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